26/09/14

You're still and will always be my favourite. I'll always be here fr you even if we never get back together again.

13/5/14

I just got back from Fclub abt an hr ago.
Am at my friend's place, both of them are asleep.
I thought I might have just let go of everything.
But the thought of you just suddenly came.
Fuck it.

In the past few days i've met new people.
They were really nice. But I don't trust any of them for sure.
New guys to be specific, hahaha
Seriously fuck men.
Nah, they're not men. Fuck guys. I don't think any of them are fit to be called men yet.
Well. I'm here, thinking about you again, and idk why either.
Seriously.
I don't hate you. I love you so much.
But I'm wishing so hard that these thoughts of you would go away too.
It's really taking a toll on me and my life.

I guess I should start trying to sort things out and get back on track.
so damn thankful that it's a holiday tomorrow.
At least I have an actual day off.
Well I miss you.
Always loving you.

9/5/14

Decided to start jotting down what I do everyday. How my day went etc. 
Hopefully this'll keep me sane at the very least cuz i totally feel like i've lost my mind.

I told myself countless times it'll get better overtime. People ard me say that too. 
What bullshit. 
I know taking pills arent gonna kill me unless i manage to get my hands on sleeping pills.
But i am scared.
Anyway.
Im back to fucking up everything in my life once more. I would call myself a class A whore but tht seems like such an understatement.

Drank last night.
Thought of you the entire time. 
He showered me with endless compliments.
Tht felt rly nice. Made me a little happier.
When he kissed me I missed you.
I felt nothing but gross.
Tried to sleep it off after he left but woke up realising i ate before sleeping and just had to force it out or id be ugly.

Drinking again later on.
Hopefully the him tonight would be a little more similar to you.