You just said some things to me.
What is mean?
Typing a fcking wake up thanks or throwing down a board made by a gf's ex down the stairs?
Bf sleeps alot or gf breaks with bf and hops onto another guy?
You're not the only one that is fucking hurt.
You're not the only one who wants people to stand in their place and think.
I don't even give two fucks about winning or losing.
I give plenty of fucks about you changing your fucking mindset.
No words can express how sorry I am.
How much remorse I feel, and how much guilt and regret there is ok..
I'm really sorry.
But what's the point of saying it..? lol.
You just asked me why I said that I thought I was a horrible girlfriend.
I told you that idk.
Lol. You wanna know why?
I left you once before.
I probably broke your heart.
Actually no,
I stabbed it shot it tore it, stepped on it, spat on it, took a shit on it and then walked away laughing with another guy.
Those gifts you gave me. The times you've tried to show me how much you loved me and wanted me back.
I didn't even take a second look or give it any hint of consent,
before rejecting all of it and pushing you away on the spot.
I got myself another guy, threw you aside and left happily.
How could you even still want or love me?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for leaving you behind before, saying and doing so many things that hurt you.
You did not deserve any bit of it.
No you did not.
I was cruel. And if I could, I would take all of it back. But I can't.
All I can say is a pathetic useless sorry....
I don't know why either, but I just love you. I can't explain it. hahaha.
I don't want to live without you.
And I don't think I can either.
Those days without you beside me were so... different.
It was shit.
At first I just told myself I'll be fine in a week or two, that I would forget about everything and just live on as per normal.
In fact I continued thinking that until I myself believed that it was true.
But it really wasn't. I couldn't stop thinking about you.
And throwing that board down the staircase hurt me too.
Watching you pick the petals up..I can't even put out how painful that was to watch in words.
I'm a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE person.
I have no idea what I was thinking really.
Or why I was even treating you like that.
I'm sorry is all I can say. (again)
lol i feel so pathetic. I can't even give you a clear explanation,
no matter how much I want to. Because I just can't think of anything to say.
There's just nothing that can be said.
I was a bitch, full stop.
Nothing I say can change it.
I'll never be able to make it up to you. Never.
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't.
Nothing would ever be able compensate it. But I will dedicate all my efforts and time to make you happy.
Its the least I can do after hurting the one I love.
The last thing I would want to do is hurt you.
And I am so truly, deeply sorry.
I just wish you could see it.
I'm not this horrible person you may think that I am..
You may think that I don't love you.
Or that I love somebody else. Or that I'm thinking of somebody else in my heart.
And that my words are just sweet nothings. That i just say it for the sake of saying.
But no.
I'm in love with you Ignatius Chia Wei En.
Ever since the first time I told you 'I love you'.
I meant every single word of it.
